It’s Anti-Bullying Week and this year’s theme is Choose Respect, empowering people to do something positive to counter the harm that bullying causes. Sadly, children in care report twice the level of bullying than other children in primary school and four times the level of bullying than other children in secondary school. They may face this discrimination simply because they are looked after. We’ve put together a list of tips to help you support the child/children under your care if they are being bullied.
Listen to them and reassure them it was right to come to you.
When a child confides in you about bullying, listening actively and empathetically is vital. Ask them questions to understand what happened and who was involved. Try to get a clear picture of the situation without making them feel pressured. By doing this, you’re not only showing that their feelings are important, but you’re also building trust. When children know they have a safe space to talk, it helps them feel less alone.
Let them now that its not their fault and that they have you in their corner to support them through the challenge.
Bullying can make a child feel isolated and they may even blame themself for what’s happening, so knowing they have someone on their side is crucial. Also respect their feelings and allow them some control by reassuring them that you won’t take any action without discussing it with them first.
Never encourage retaliation.
It’s natural for children to feel like retaliating against those who hurt them, but this often just escalates the problem. Instead suggest that they remove themselves from the situation and seek help from a trusted adult. Helping them to manage their emotions not only prevents further conflict and encourages healthy emotional regulation.
Ask them what they want to happen next and reassure them that you won’t take any action without discussing with them first.
Go over the choices they have and discuss the potential outcomes with them. By involving them in the decision making process you’re empowering them to become more resilient and capable of handling challenges.
Encourage them to get involved in activities that will boost their confidence.
When children are bullied, they often experience low self-esteem, this can be even worse for foster children who might already feel unsure of themselves. Whether it’s joining a sports team or learning an instrument, these activities can help them form friendships outside of where the bullying is taking place, reinforcing their sense of belonging and self-worth.
Discuss what’s happening with the lead adult where the bullying is taking place.
They need to be aware of the situation so they can keep an eye out and take steps to prevent further incidents. However, ensure you have communicated openly about this step with your foster child, so they understand why its happening.
Supporting a foster child who is experiencing bullying requires patience, empathy and open communication. By following these steps you’re helping them to not only cope with the hurt bullying brings but to also build resilience and self-worth for when they face future challenges. The compassion, support and guidance you provide can make an immense difference in their healing journey and help them feel valued, safe and supported every step of the way. If you would like anymore advice on supporting your foster child through bullying and other challenges, our expert team are happy to help. You can get in contact with them here.